Troublesome Twenties

321BC, Alexander the Great, turning 30, can reflect on the military successes attained in his third decade on this planet through an empire which spans from Greece all the way to the border of India. Fast forward nearly 2000 years and a 26 year old Albert Einstein is working away in a patent office in Bern when he publishes papers leading to the theory of special relativity. 100 years later in 2007, a 23 year old Mark Zuckerberg becomes the world’s youngest self-made billionaire.

I personally feel like your 20s are a strange time. It seems like a place of limbo, as you sluggishly and reluctantly turn your back on the care-free teenage years and early 20s but aren’t quite ready to enter a world of saving for deposits, planning career trajectories, and weekends away at Center Parcs. However, in the current climate I also feel it can be difficult not to pressure yourself into chasing goals which may be unattainable for the time being. We’ve created a society where being a social media influencer is a genuine full-time job prospect, and with 95 million picture posts a day on Instagram alone, we are constantly surrounded by a snapshot into other people’s lives. This may lead to a lot of introspection, self-analysis, doubt, and comparisons if we fail to separate our lives from those of others, causing bouts of anxiety and depression amongst other mental health issues. I just thought I would explore some aspects of ‘adulting’ that I’ve had difficulty in contemplating and maybe you can relate.

Career - as someone who studied Biology, it is pretty obvious that David Attenborough has quite a strong monopoly on the whole documentary making/presenting side of things, whereas studio audiences may not be as receptive to the Salford accent - “ey arr, check out the size of that whale lad”. So my first career choice is pretty much ruled out. We are often told stories of these struggling actors/actresses who were working in coffee shops before making their big break as an inspirational success story, but for every success story there are hundreds of other people who we don’t hear about because they never make it. We often need to be realistic with our opportunities and be grateful for the pathways we can venture down. Even if we get what we perceive to be a dream job and then find out it is all not that great, we shouldn’t feel guilty in stopping and starting again. 65% of 18-34 year olds have reported to desire a career change and with the retirement age only going one way, it appears our generation and the ones following will be working for much longer; making the idea of being stuck in an unenjoyable job much more daunting. At the end of the day, Jed Mercurio, writer of Line of Duty and Bodyguard was working as a doctor before answering the BBC's advertisement to help script a medical drama, and Ava Duvernay, director of 13th and Selma, decided to pick up a camera and make her first 12 minute movie at the age of 32. And sometimes we just have to enjoy the lack of responsibility and do what pleases us.

Houses - I personally currently find it difficult to ever picture a scenario where I’ll have saved enough money to buy a house but I feel like it’s some sort of tick box that people want you to do: “get your foot on the property ladder”. I’m not sure whether this attitude is translated in other countries. In 2015, 64% of British people owned their own home compared with only 51.5% of Germans, and nothing in comparison to 96% of Romanians. I understand the feeling of ownership with it being yours but can it also tie you down more? Even if a house was on the top of the Christmas list, the affordability of one has declined over the years. In 1980, the average wage was £5,720 whilst the average house would set you back £22,667. Fast forward to 2015 and the average wage has risen to £29,994 whilst the average house price has rocketed to £188,566. Comparatively, in 1980, 3.96 years wages could buy you a house whilst in 2015 that number is 6.3. This is reflected in the average age of first time buyers increasing, with 38% of 25-34 year olds being homeowners in 2017/18, compared with 55% a decade earlier. This increased difficulty to save up and buy our own houses should help to relieve any internal and external pressures rather than exacerbate them.

Marriage and family - It’s extremely hard to escape everyday pressures of finding a partner and having children: films, TV, books, newspapers, social media. Even the most dysfunctional, extractive relationships can come up shining roses in some very selective social media posts. We are all aware of people who jump from long-term relationship to long-term relationship as if the alternative of being single is unbearable, but I think it is important to find comfort with yourself. In 1970, the average age of a male marrying a female was 27.2, that figure was 37.9 in 2016. Furthermore, the average cost of a wedding in 2019 is £31,000 and the Office National Statistics estimate that 42% of marriages end in divorce in the UK. There is clearly no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to such important things, but if you’re struggling to find a partner then there are many more in the same boat and it isn’t always a reflection of your own shortcomings. The same pattern is seen in having children, with the average age of parents rising from 29.7 (males) and 26.7 (females) in 1970 to 33.3 (males) and 30.4 (females) in 2015. In addition, the cost of raising a child in 2015 has increased 63% from 2002, with average disposable income per household rising a meagre 8% in comparison, meaning on average a greater sacrifice needing to be made.

My aim of this blog is not to suggest people should change careers, rent accommodation and live a sordid bachelor/ette existence, but that it is completely fine if you have aspirations that you have not achieved yet. In this era, we are given many great opportunities that we should be eternally grateful for but there are certain other aspects which may be less attainable. As a result, comparing ourselves to previous generations or our own through social media, which can present an extremely distorted perception of reality is detrimental and can lead to putting pressure on ourselves that is not necessary: potentially leading to negative effects on our well-being. It may be a fault of the immediate access we have to everything through technology that our patience to have certain things could be shorter than previous generations. I am going to finish with stories of two people.

Louis Kroc - born in 1902 to parents of Czech origin, Louis worked as a Red Cross driver in World War I. After this he worked a variety of jobs; selling paper cups, real estate agents and then selling milkshake mixers. The mixer company was going under, so Louis decided to try and partner with a pair of brothers who owned a small chain of restaurants, who had bought eight mixers from him previously. They opened their first partnered restaurant chain in 1955, McDonalds. Louis died in 1984 with a net worth of $600 million dollars, owned the San Diego Padres and was included in Time 100: The Most Influential People of the Century.

Susan Boyle - need I say more.