The Science of Love and its Misrepresentation in Film.

Revelling in being able to take a morale high ground by sitting and watching films all day, I was immersing myself in the The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit trilogies and couldn’t help noticing SPOILER ALERT the unrealistic love story that played out between the dwarf Kili and the elf Tauriel. In short, they meet, have one conversation, fall in love, and then she proceeds to risk her life on multiple occasions trying to protect him. Whilst I deem this a bit far fetched I must admit it pales in comparison to the absurdity of one of the greatest love stories ever told.

Sunday Evening - boy who is getting over a girl goes to a party and spots a new girl.

Sunday Night - boy and girl declare love for each other and decide to get married.

Monday Afternoon - boy and girl marry after a steady 1 day relationship.

Tuesday Night - girl now fakes suicide to escape marrying someone else

Thursday Night - boy sees girl, thinks she’s dead so poisons himself and dies. Girl wakes up to see the dead boy and stabs herself to death.

And you think you’ve had an up and down week? Romeo and Juliet is one of the most performed plays, has countless film adaptations, and is studied during a pupil’s GCSE English Literature course. At a time when a child’s hormones are causing unprecedented behavioural and physiological changes in their body, is it really right to expose them to these false ideas of love?

Having unrealistic expectations can be mentally harming. Being subjected to these ideas of love and relationships can cause people to set standards on how they would like their own relationships to pan out; kissing in the rain, being chased down at the airport. Unfortunately, in the majority of circumstances when these standards are not met, the cells in the brain, neurones, release less of a chemical called dopamine. Furthermore it alters the balance of two more chemicals in the brain, GABA and glutamate which overall can lead to feelings of disappointment and has been linked to depression.

I decided to try to examine some of the science behind love. I know it can be contentious and a cold-hearted approach to try and objectify such a varied and intangible concept, which I will happily admit to be far from understanding, but I hope to create a transparency to enable people to distance fictional love and relationships which are dramatised for their audience appeal and what is experienced in real life.

In developing relationships, there are different stages and neurobiologists, psychologists and relationships gurus alike have tried to separate them into discrete categories. One initial stage revolves around Lust; people’s need for sexual gratification which comes from the inherent evolutionary desire to reproduce.This emotion is thought to be controlled by testosterone and oestrogen; hormones found both in men and women. Lust is followed by Attraction, a specific desire for an individual. During this period the neurones in the brain release more dopamine than usual. This chemical is prevalent in the reward centre of the brain, and is also released in excess through cocaine and alcohol consumption; hence the terms ‘Love is a Drug’ and ‘Love Drunk’. In addition, there is an increase in a chemical called cortisol, associated with the heightened stress of the whole situation, and neural growth factors which help in the survival and growth of neurones in the brain. Opposingly, the chemical serotonin is observed in reduced levels during the attraction phase. A critical finding from these studies is that after 12 months these chemicals reduce to the normal level. This is often associated with the end of the ‘Honeymoon phase’, as the heightened elation of falling in love and being besotted wears off. However, contrary to The Righteous Brothers belief, that doesn’t mean you’ve lost that loving feeling.

In the period called Attachment, two hormones called oxytocin and vasopressin seem to be the key players. Oxytocin is produced during sex, childbirth, and breast-feeding, all activities which prepare for social bonding and developing meaningful relationships whether it be with a partner or child. Furthermore, vasopressin has been linked to empathy and monogamy (having one sexual partner). This was highlighted in a study with montane voles. These animals usually have multiple sexual partners however after dosing with oxytocin and vasopressin they practised monogamy. Overall these changes are often associated with a deeper, less emotionally charged, love.

As is evident the initial bursts of excitement, attraction and stress people experience at the beginning of a relationship is often short term and whilst that spark can last and be rekindled, these changes are discrete from later stages in a relationship. Predictors of long lasting relationships include trust, communication, conflict mitigation, and

shared interests. Things which take time to develop and nurture.

So what is the take home message? Whilst fast, fiery, action packed relationships ‘arguably’ provide for better TV and film, it is important to take these with a pinch of salt and develop more realistic expectations in order to better facilitate creating deep and meaningful relationships in our lives. Remember, Fiona didn’t fall in love with Shrek just because he saved her from the dragon.